Thursday, June 30, 2005
Vic Mackey Racing @ Willow Springs
Vic Mackey Racing Press Release
Vic Mackey Racing's driver Jabroni was hospitalized after Friday night's TPTCC race. He crashed hard in the final turn at Willow Springs. He walked away from that, but was then severly beaten by team boss Mackey and his Strike Team.
Asked for comment, Mackey said, "What? He just fell down some stairs after the race. It happens."
Jabroni released a written statement to the press, as his jaw is broken and he cannot talk. It reads, "Guys, come on. I just fell down some stairs. It happens sometimes."
The reason for the beating was clear: Jabroni was in position to win the race at Willow Springs, and lost it through a series of stupid mistakes. We mean monumental. Hm... mon-u-MENTAL. GET IT!
Oh, right. Jabroni qualified 2nd, followed the leader for a while, until the leader "lost his sound", which we don't really understand, since this is a real race and not some video game, no sir. But anyway, he had the lead and all, and then ran into a lapper, and then went off and bounced off the wall in the final turn, giving up the lead. He chased the leader some, crashed again in the same place, and then piled on the stupidity when he drove down pit road without stopping, for seemingly no reason.
Before he was pummelled by Mackey, Jabroni had this to say: "Well, I mean, I thought we were going to need fuel. A bunch of other guys were pitting - myself and the leader were the only cars on the lead lap even. So I figured we would have to, too. Then I get onto pit road and check with the crew, and they say I don't need fuel. So I kept going, losing like 20 seconds."
Jabroni closed back in some - the leader had lost a gear - but it wouldn't matter when he crashed AGAIN in the last turn with only 8 laps to go, taking another car with him. This time his race was over.
To add even more pain to the team, the leader would end up retiring with only a couple laps left, handing the win to the new second place runner, who was a lap down at the time. If only he had just not crashed the last time. Even with all the stupid stuff he did before, he still could of won if he just didn't run into that guy. I mean, the guy is clearly stupid.
If you're wondering why a press release from Vic Mackey Racing is so negative toward the team, its driver, and its owner, well... that's because it's my last day bitches! I'm through writing your press releases, Mackey. You goofy looking bald dumbass. Oh and "Driver Jabroni put in a good performance"? All just nonsense that I write because I'm paid to. Well not anymore. I'm going to write the novel I've always dreamed about... it's about a young boy and his pet rabbit, and they travel through time, forward, at 1x speed.
In closing, Vic Mackey sucks and I quit! Have fun with yo
hello this is vic mackey i dont really kno much about comptures but i do kno about KICKIN YOUR ASS tommy you sonofabich. tommy says i cant delete the stuff he already rote but let me say this officially: jabronie fell down some staris it happens GET OVER IT ALREADY GOD
Vic Mackey Racing's driver Jabroni was hospitalized after Friday night's TPTCC race. He crashed hard in the final turn at Willow Springs. He walked away from that, but was then severly beaten by team boss Mackey and his Strike Team.
Asked for comment, Mackey said, "What? He just fell down some stairs after the race. It happens."
Jabroni released a written statement to the press, as his jaw is broken and he cannot talk. It reads, "Guys, come on. I just fell down some stairs. It happens sometimes."
The reason for the beating was clear: Jabroni was in position to win the race at Willow Springs, and lost it through a series of stupid mistakes. We mean monumental. Hm... mon-u-MENTAL. GET IT!
Oh, right. Jabroni qualified 2nd, followed the leader for a while, until the leader "lost his sound", which we don't really understand, since this is a real race and not some video game, no sir. But anyway, he had the lead and all, and then ran into a lapper, and then went off and bounced off the wall in the final turn, giving up the lead. He chased the leader some, crashed again in the same place, and then piled on the stupidity when he drove down pit road without stopping, for seemingly no reason.
Before he was pummelled by Mackey, Jabroni had this to say: "Well, I mean, I thought we were going to need fuel. A bunch of other guys were pitting - myself and the leader were the only cars on the lead lap even. So I figured we would have to, too. Then I get onto pit road and check with the crew, and they say I don't need fuel. So I kept going, losing like 20 seconds."
Jabroni closed back in some - the leader had lost a gear - but it wouldn't matter when he crashed AGAIN in the last turn with only 8 laps to go, taking another car with him. This time his race was over.
To add even more pain to the team, the leader would end up retiring with only a couple laps left, handing the win to the new second place runner, who was a lap down at the time. If only he had just not crashed the last time. Even with all the stupid stuff he did before, he still could of won if he just didn't run into that guy. I mean, the guy is clearly stupid.
If you're wondering why a press release from Vic Mackey Racing is so negative toward the team, its driver, and its owner, well... that's because it's my last day bitches! I'm through writing your press releases, Mackey. You goofy looking bald dumbass. Oh and "Driver Jabroni put in a good performance"? All just nonsense that I write because I'm paid to. Well not anymore. I'm going to write the novel I've always dreamed about... it's about a young boy and his pet rabbit, and they travel through time, forward, at 1x speed.
In closing, Vic Mackey sucks and I quit! Have fun with yo
hello this is vic mackey i dont really kno much about comptures but i do kno about KICKIN YOUR ASS tommy you sonofabich. tommy says i cant delete the stuff he already rote but let me say this officially: jabronie fell down some staris it happens GET OVER IT ALREADY GOD
# posted by class of 89 : 4:03 PM
